Introducing the Apple iPad...here come the jokes, er, features:

If only Apple had spent the same fortune on naming their new 'iPad' tablet as they did developing it. At least the features aren't silly:

- A larger screen for that not-so-refresh feeling

- Sleek 1.5 lb design means no one will know you've got an iPad except...nevermind, it'll be obvious

- Greater capacity for those heavy download days

- Say goodbye to aches with a lighter, more ergonomic stylus

- Natural Flow™ design cuts down on 64GB hot flash memory pause

- Cramps: There's an app for that

- Finally, a wireless pad with the soft-touch screen your body will love!